what is god for you?

name.
antonia stout
date of birth.
10.11.1973
place of birth.
washington dc, usa
profession.
actress, mother
philosophy.
oh dear...a sense of humour? and have fun.

mig. in the video you were asked what god is for you. is there something you wish to add?
as. god for me is love, is everything.

mig. is the word god controversial for you? if yes why?
as. it used to be. i actually didn’t grow up religious or anything but it always was kind of a taboo or bad word; it hasn’t been until the past seven years or so that it’s become a word that i can use with ease.

mig. do you think of religion when you hear the word god? if yes, why?
as. no. not always.

mig. do you believe everything happens for a reason, or are we the reason why things happen?
as. that’s a good one. i always say everything happens for a reason; i think it makes me feel better. but i’ve never actually thought about “are we the reason?”. of course we’re the reason… but maybe not! i do believe there’s a lesson in everything, so when i say everything happens for a reason its because i choose the sometimes more challenging path of learning from the everythings that happen. i find, when i do this, my life grows and expands instead of just going into a spiral.

mig. define love. what does love mean for you?
as. love is everything. love is a hug. it’s laughter, it’s light. love is a song in the heart. love is when you have the ability to, ultimately, hold space for everything, both the bad and the good as it unfolds. i’ve never defined love before; it’s a feeling and, for me, so much is based on it. love is the heart, it’s a poem.

mig. do you think love is something all life forms share?
as. yes.

mig. what in your opinion can make a relationship last a whole lifetime?
as. i don’t know, i haven’t gotten there yet! i’m working on it... i guess what i’m learning is it’s not all fun. what makes it work? you know when you start a relationship and they have all of their little foibles that you love in them, which become irritating as you get to know them? it’s loving them for those things too. a friend once shared with me that they’d been married to their husband for 22 years and there are things that she seriously dislikes about him but, she didn’t marry him for those things, she married him for the things that she loves in him and those are the important things. there’s always going to be something, so you have to just know how to handle yourself and your reactions when the somethings arise.

mig. what have you learned about life so far?
as. it’s fleeting. to have a sense of humour is so important, even when things are serious. allowing serious when serious is there too. i’ve learned that love goes deeper; it keeps growing. i had a daughter 14 months ago; i didn’t know if i wanted kids for a certain period, i was rebelling against it, and somebody said to me “but the love!” and i said “i have love, what are you talking about?” and when my daughter was born, my love grew! it was just something i couldn't viscerally know until i'd experienced it. i thought i knew the depths of love but it grew, it opened, it expanded. it became. it was as if my heart sank or rather, dropped into place. it’s like it opened and love keeps going. there’s more to it. i believe, the more that i think i know, the more there is to actually learn and then i realise how little i actually know! life is more fun when you don't hold on so tight to the knowing.

mig. how would you describe us/humanity today?
as. we live in shambles, but i guess for me that’s what it needs to be. i don’t understand a lot of what is going on. the power trips, the hatred and the loss of innocence so early, i don’t understand it. i’ve been thinking about it recently, am i’m hiding from the hardships in the world today, because it’s so painful? in the "everything happens for a reason" mind set, i'm trying not to think… “why does war happen?” it's here, i don't have to understand why, it'll keep happening wether i understand it or not. some people say, "disease is here as natures way of population control” or some say “it’s manmade, we’re doing it”. that’s so negative! so intellectual. the point is, it's here. when life is hard and the pictures in front of us aren't "pretty" i think there is also a choice, a choice to see or find the beauty. there are solutions. some people are slow to accept them sometimes, i sure am, i think acceptance is one of the hardest options, one of the hardest choices. and i think we’re here, we’re going. i hope we keep going. that was a big one when i had a daughter. what am i bringing her into? why am i bringing her here? our water’s going, everything is going. but, you know, maybe she’ll be part of the solution. it’s the only way to look at it.

thank you antonia stout for participating in the 'mig' project.

videography by mig. all rights reserved 2014.
photography by mig. all rights reserved 2014.

to participate in the mig project please write to be@madeingod.com

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